Po and Ling-Ling: Hit the Road prologue

After a while of waiting, I am finally going to fanmake one of the greatest Lucasarts video games of all time! If anyone has a suggestion or idea in this parody, lay it on me. I am going to refer the video games and TV show. And now, without further ado, the fanmake!

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Prologue: A Stupid Hostage Situation

'Universal Keyblade Productions Presents'

"Friends?!" an angry voice demanded from somewhere in a crazy laboratory. The voice came from an angry man who is standing near some machines, weapons, etc. The man was a rotund person with brown hair, blue eyes wearing a purple trenchcoat over a red outfit with yellow linings, a black bottom and a gray center on where the 'belly button' is. He also wore brown shoes, black pants and white gloves.

"Friends?!" The man yelled again as he glared at his victim, "We have only gone out together three times, and already, you decided you just want to be friends?! How dare you?! You never gave me a chance! And for that...you will be fried to a crisp!!"

The hostage he was yelling at was a woman who had long black hair and red eyes. She wore a white-and-red kimono, white socks and brown sandals. This was Priestess Kikyo, from Feudal Japan. She groaned at the situation she was in, as she was used to being a warrior, not being tied up and backed up against the wall by her now-going-crazy true love. That is what was happening to her right now as the said duelist had pointed a deadly ray machine right at her, planning to use it to melt the priestess until she was nothing but a pile of mush.

"Listen, Kaiba." Kikyo said with a sigh, "It's not that I don't like you. I still do. It's just that, well, you just turned evil again like last time, at least from what I heard, and I wanted to stay away from you immediately. I'd rather go out with someone more...unpredictable."

As a matter of fact, the priestess was gonna get her wish as the unpredictable happened: something crashed right through a nearby wall, interrupting the whole thing. It appeared to be a purple van with a 'Foxxy 5' logo on the sides. The villain, Seto Kaiba, turned and looked at the van in confusion. Inside were two figures, who then opened the van doors and got out into the shadows of the place.

One of the figures came right into the spotlight. It was an orange mouse-like creature with pointy ears, stripes like a certain beloved Pokémon, and an exclamation mark-shaped tail.

The other figure appeared from the other side of the van and stopped near the creature. It was a big fat panda with green eyes, and his only clothes consisted of a pair of patched-up shorts, bandages around his ankles, and a pair of brown sandals. He also appeared to be wearing detective clothing.

"What's up, y'all?" the panda joked as he looked on at the staring Kaiba and Kikyo.

"This doesn't look like the Lincoln Tunnel or anything like it, Po." the mouse-like creature spoke with a Japanese accent as he nodded.

"Well, well, looks to me like a marginally volatile hostage situation, Ling-Ling." The panda, known as Po, assumed.

The Asian rat grinned at this and asked eagerly, "Ooh! Does this mean we get to kick chubby, disfigured, mad scientist butt?!"

"Can't think of a reason not to."

"You will never stop me, Freelance Police!" Kaiba sneered angrily as he reached for a lever nearby. "When I flip this switch, my ungrateful priestess will be reduced to a half cup of disoriented atomic matter!"

"Uh, I knew Kaiba wasn't a real scientist or evil. He just went nuts." said Kikyo with a shrug from nearby.

"Hai. Uh, Po? Can I confront, subdue, and pummel the suspected perpetrator?" asked Ling-Ling eagerly. He was hoping his friend would say yes.

"Sic 'im up, little buddy." said Po with a smirk. Who was he to deny Ling-Ling some fun? That was all Ling-Ling needed to hear.

"DIE!!!" The little battle monster yelled as he charged at Kaiba with unbelievable speed and then pounced the duelist before without a blink. The two get into a fight, which Ling-Ling is obviously winning. Besides pummeling Kaiba, the battle monster ALSO use his super-strength and sword to totally trash the mad scientist's weapons to keep Kaiba from using them. Why, he just snatched one of his laser rifles and shot him with it.

During the fight, Po went over to try to untie Kikyo, who was very grateful. She knew these two from the reports on TV. They were Po and Ling-Ling, the Freelance Police who fought crime and take cases (and get on everyone else's, too). She watched as Po tried to untie her, but was having trouble. Mostly because Ling-Ling's fighting was distracting him. The fight looked more interesting than untying someone right now.

"Ooh. Oww! Hey, nice one!" Po exclaimed as he watched Ling-Ling's dirty (and I mean DIRTY) fighting.

"IIIII HAAATE THAAAT BATTLE MONSTERRR!!" Kaiba yelled in pain as he got struck by Ling-Ling with stuff flying out.

"Yikes!" Po exclaimed on seeing dirtier fighting from the battle monster, "Ouch! Man, he's a lot like Robotnik yelling that! Huh? What the...?" The panda said the last part for a good reason. Ling-Ling had finished off Kaiba a little too hard as he slashed the duelist's neck, cutting the head clean off. Soon, the battle monster was holding the head by the hair, which appeared to be unusual. It's probably because of the wires and electrical fluid coming from the neck.

"He's not real at all, Po!" Ling-Ling pointed out eagerly, "He's only a robot!"

"I knew Kaiba wouldn't turn on me." Kikyo said in relief that her boyfriend would not do evil things and become disfigured after all, "It has to be another one of Purple Tentacle's tricks."

"Hey, can we keep his head as one of the many souvenirs like we usually found during our cases? Why do you suppose it's ticking?" Po gasped as he got up. Ling-Ling was right, the head is ticking, but for a dangerous reason!

"Jumpin' Jehoshaphat, that's no head! That's one damned ugly time bomb!!" Po yelled in alarm, "Another villainous plot. Let's get out of here and get rid of that thing before it blows up and ends this fanmake too early, pronto!"

"Good idea, Po! We could get rid of the head while the credits are rolling." agreed Ling-Ling. "Mind if I drive?"

"Only if you don't mind me clawing at the dash and scream like a cheerleader! Believe me, I know you're driving!"

"Uh, Po...is 'pronto' a real word?"

"Thank you, Po and Ling-Ling." said Kikyo as Ling-Ling tossed the head to Po, who put it in his detective coat. The two jumped right into their van as the female continued, "I will never forget what you two did here today."

Kikyo watched as Ling-Ling got behind the wheel and starts the engine. The purple van drove out in reverse very fast before taking off. Kikyo watch the hole very carefully. Something tells her that it will take a while longer for her to escape. But then...

"Kikyo!" A voice called out. The priestess in question turned and saw a twenty-two-year-old man brown hair and blue eyes entering the hole, He wore a purple overcoat, a black shirt, black pants, and black shoes.

"Kaiba!" Kikyo exclaimed upon seeing her lover; the REAL Seto Kaiba.

"It's a good thing Po and Ling-Ling brought me here earlier and got me to wait outside while they confront that faker." Kaiba explained.

"It sure is." Kikyo agreed, "Can you get me out of this mess?"

"No problem." Kaiba replied as he got to work on untying his girlfriend, "I just hope Po and Ling-Ling could get rid of that time bomb before it's too late."

"Knowing the Freelance Police, I'm thinking that they will, in an unexpected manner." The priestess theorized. Little did she know that she would be right sooner or later.

We hear music as we see a scene of a highway as if a car is moving down it. Some words appear during the music.

'Toonwriter Productions in association with JusSonic and Julayla Beryl Presents'

'Po and Ling-Ling: Hit The Road'

We see pictures on top and bottom of the highway scene. First on the top, we see Po throwing Ling-Ling through a window, breaking it. On the bottom, we see the duo out on a case while the battle monster is holding up a blaster.

'Designed by Anonymous But Interested, Darth Ben Valor, Julayla Beryl, and Toonwriter'

'Programmed by JusSonic, Julayla Beryl, Darth Ben Valor, and Sharidaken'

The top picture changed as we see Po and Ling-Ling on a rooftop as they see a signal in the sky like the one Batman uses.

'Background Art by Darth Ben Valor, MikariStar, and Wormtail96'.

'Animation by Toonwriter, JusSonic, Julayla Beryl, Anonymous But Interested, and acosta jose ramiro'

We now see in the bottom picture that shows Ling-Ling driving the purple van while Po hangs on for dear life.

'3-D Animation by Toonwriter, JusSonic and Julayla Beryl'

'Art Technicians Charles Roberts and DisneyFan-01'

Now in the top picture, it's Ling-Ling beating up a Jerry Lewis-like clown with a newspaper while Po is in a chair reading a comic book as this goes on.

'Music Composed by Sharidaken, Davidspyro, JJAPrice15, and Darth Ben Valor'

'Voice Produced and Directed by Toonwriter'

'Voice Production Coordination by Julayla Beryl'

'Digital Sound Effects Editing by JusSonic'

In the bottom picture, we see Po and Ling-Ling abandoning their van and running for their lives as a big train is coming.

'Quality Assurance by Ryo Muang, Dr. Dude, Julayla Beryl, and Davidspyro'

The bottom picture changes as we see Po holding up his weapon as Ling-Ling watch. There are words on the blaster that said 'How's My Aim? Call 1-800-Nicktoon Wars'.

'iMUSE Music System by JusSonic, Toonwriter, and Darth Ben Valor'

Now the top picture changes as Po and Ling-Ling seems to be parodying some sort of well-known painting.

'SCUMM System by Darth Ben Valor, MikariStar, MagicMan001, and Dr. Dude'

'SCUMM Upgrades by MagicMan001 and MikariStar'

We now see new pictures on top and bottom of the scene. On the top, Ling-Ling was looking nervously as he looks at a police motorcycle that got ran over by the purple van with Po nearby whistling innocently as if he isn't familiar with his friend. On the bottom, Po was playing on a guitar while Ling-Ling plays bongos on some skulls.

'Sam & Max, Freelance Police (which this is a parody of) created by Steve Purcell'

'Directed and Produced by Toonwriter and JusSonic'

The pictures disappeared as we focused on the highway scene once more. It slows down a bit as the opening credits came to an end.

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A nice prologue, eh? In the next chapter, Po and Ling-Ling get their new mission and go crazy doing so. More references from the show and other games are coming, so stay tuned. Don't forget, folks: Read, review, and suggest!

I made up Kaiba's evil OC Robotnik-esque counterpart just for this fic.

The Foxxy 5 Van, which will be Po and Ling-Ling's main transportation, was used by the Drawn Together gang in “Lost in Parking Space, parts 1 and 2”.

Nicktoon Wars was a series made by JusSonic.